Why are you still alive?

Like, honestly. There's not a single day where simply looking into the mirror or ontto a picture of myself doesn't make me suicidal. I was denied help when it was still possible to turn this around and now it's to late. I will never be good looking or at least look a way that's "alright" and in line with anything I want from life. I need a team I'd fucking specialists to put me into an artificial coma and do surgeries kn me until I look alright and only wake me up when it's good or there's just no shotevery aspect of my face looks horrible. The symmetry is REALLY fucked because I didn't get medical help for my teeth when I needed to, but my skin isn't good either, my eyes aren't good either, my hairline isn't good either, my face also looks fat despite me being thin and my nose is fat af. Like, I don't like anything about my fucking garbage face anymore. I don't even have consistent beard growth. And I look 10 years older as well. Why tf did anyone allow me to develop this way? There should be public healthcare in my country, there should be things like family that take care of you. Why did no one prevent me from becoming this way? I'm only 26, I should be in my prime rn looks and health wise. This is so fucking unacceptable. I can't accept to live like this. I fucking can't and never will be. My life is fucked and it feels irreparable. Why tf are y'all still Alive? Where is the fucking hope? This is so horrible and you can't even get people to acknowledge it as a problem while simultaneously there's no way to solve it on your own as well if you don't have like a massive Pile of money laying around.