Started hearing tinnitus about 5/6 weeks ago. Reassurance welcome.

So I started hearing a high pitched ringing in my ears about 5/6 weeks ago.

I've had brief ringing in my ears before, usually for a few seconds or minutes and it'll just faded and gone. So initially when I became aware of it I didn't really think much of it.

But this time, the ringing stayed. Initially I just thought - okay this is lasting longer than normal, but whatever, I'm sure it'll pass, so it did not particularly stress me out.. I could still hear okay and was able to get to sleep fine.

After a few days I saw a Dr who advised me to take beconnaise (a nasal steroid spray) and reassured me that most of the time it goes away, said it was probably just an infection. This lifted my mood a bit. Christmas came and went, still without my sleep being affected.

By mid January, with the noise still there, I was starting to strongly suspect that this is a permanent thing, but still feeling generally okay. It was a bit irritating but not affecting my sleep or day to day activity significantly.

Coincidentally, I had a hearing test in mid January - I had booked the hearing test a few months prior because it was a pre-requisite to some moulded ear plugs I planned to invest in.

That diagnosed me as having mild to moderate hearing loss. The lady performing the test suggested that I might be a candidate for hearing aids - a bit of a shock since I'm "only" 46. But since I don't have any real problem hearing things we both agreed there was no need. We talked about the tinnitus and she said I should return to the Dr for a follow up and explained that tinnitus is a relatively common cause of suicide.

I think that increased my anxiety level.

A bit later - so now a few days ago, I had my first genuinely broken night because of it. I really struggled to get to sleep, then when I woke up early at about 2am, I struggled to get back to sleep too.

Lots of rumination and high anxiety which lead me feeling at times quite panicky, and having pretty dark thoughts. Will I never be able to hear silence again? Will I never be able to immerse myself in a conversation with my kids without this noise tugging away at my attention? How is life going to feel with this constant noise and hanging over me? How much joy am I going to get from life?

I had a follow up with the Dr yesterday which basically confirmed that in all likelihood this is a permanent condition - yes possible it will go away but given it had been 6 weeks probably not.

I've been struggling with this. I was quite upset and tearful after. It's hard not to focus on it.

I used some white noise to help me sleep the last couple of nights. That's not ideal as then my partner struggles to sleep.

It's interesting how it was not affecting my sleep in the early days when I thought it was most likely a temporary thing, yet now I know it's permanent it affects sleep significantly. Suggests to me that a large part of it is psychological.. perhaps it's not so much the ringing that is the problem, as the anxiety about the ringing. People manage to get to sleep fine under flight paths or next to busy roads. Maybe I can get used to it and ignore it? Is this what people mean by habituation?

Anyway, I am happy to have found this community and would love to hear from people who have been through this.

At the moment I'm on a roller coaster of emotions. I have moments of positivity but generally I'm feeling really quite anxious, it feels very intrusive and like I rarely go more than a few minutes without thinking about the tinnitus.