My boyfriend refuses to change, and I feel miserable and stuck. What should I do?

When I( 29f) met my boyfriend(29m), years ago, he was going through a rough patch but was getting better, and he never hid that from me. But then he got fired, and it was about a year until he got another job. It was difficult, but I stayed and helped him through it, even though these behaviors were also present then—staying home for weeks, gaming all night, sleeping all day, and not doing basic human things like showering, eating, and cleaning. He got that job and was better for a while until he started going out with his coworkers and drinking. He was happy, so I was happy. When it was time to be together, we always did, so it was fine.

This past summer, I moved in with him, and things changed. He continued going out, but it was several times a week, sometimes even showing up in the morning. He would not care if I was upset, and he did nothing at home to help. So, since I was unemployed because I moved homes to be with him, I decided to take a holiday and visit my parents instead of being upset every day with him. When I came back, I found out he cheated on me twice with two different girls and even tried more, but they were the ones that didn’t want to. I broke up with him, but eventually, since I couldn’t simply leave his house and be homeless all of a sudden, he got through to me, and I accepted him back.

He said he was having destructive behaviors, drinking too much made it worse, and that it was because of his depression—it was a cycle. But he begged me to forgive him, promising never to do it again. He said he needed me because, without me, he was nothing and would fall into an even more destructive cycle if I left. He claimed there was no reason for him to live without me and said he would even marry me and have kids (things he always said he didn’t want) if I wanted, because I deserved it. So I took him back with the condition that he would change, never betray me again, never lie again, and that we would move states closer to my parents. He accepted all that, and so we moved to a new state for both of us.

Now we are both unemployed, but I already have a contract to start, and he doesn’t. It has been months of the same behaviors—not caring if I'm lonely, sleeping until late, staying up all night gaming. He doesn’t clean or help almost at all. When I manage to get a date with him to do something together, we leave the house late, I have to wait a lot for him to shower and get dressed. Even for small things like going to the supermarket, we need to put it on his agenda for him to brace himself. There are days we don’t talk, even though we are both at home.

I'm very sensitive to this, and I cry a lot. He says I’m in the right but it’s because he is unemployed and takes refuge in games. Then we make up, have a good day together, but then it repeats. Now I’m starting to feel annoyed and fed up, and also feel desperate, so sometimes I yell at him, and we have really bad arguments. He tells me to go out and check my behaviors and think about how I’m treating him. When that happens, he just doesn’t get up, sleeping through it all day and night while I cry and suffer alone. Then, when we talk again, he says I’m right and that it’s very difficult for him to talk about how he's feeling, but he is going to change and be better, and when he gets a job, it will all be better. And then the cycle repeats.

When I start to feel lonely again, I tell him, and he says, “But we did this on that day.” Now I’m just constantly thinking about breaking up but feeling bad because he moved states, is unemployed, and we both don’t have money to live alone. I’m starting a new job, and I can’t move now. And I’m afraid of what he might do if I leave him alone. But I just can’t take it anymore. It’s so disappointing all the time. I have to do everything alone, and if we manage to go do something together, it’s always a hassle. We argue, he says I’m right, but then repeats everything. He can’t even load the dishwasher after we argue about it!

These days, I have been really mean towards him. I don’t talk to him, don’t do anything at home, don’t cook, and stay in bed all day, and still, he doesn’t change. Now he’s saying that because I’m mean, I don’t care about him, don’t want to solve things, and questions why we are even together if I’m not interested in making up. He claims that I’m being vengeful and childish. But I can’t help myself—if I hug him or smile at him, he instantly forgets all that I say is wrong, and the cycle repeats. I’m the only one who suffers because he truly doesn't care if spend time together. So, like this, at least we are both miserable.

I do want to solve and I love him, I don't want to leave him because I know he is not well but I'm so tired of this. I feel like I'm losing my mind as well. Is there any hope for this relationship or am I wasting my time? What can I do? If nothing can be done, how do I leave and not feel responsible if something happens to him?

TL;DR: my boyfriend has had bad habits due to depression for years and I feel lonely and like he doesn't care about me. I forgave him for cheating, moved states to make up our relationship and now he still doesn't change. I feel stuck and I don't know what to do. Do I really have to leave or should I try to make it work once more?