Partner ‘30/M’ said a very mean thing during the argument and I ‘27/F’can’t forget

My ‘27/F’ partner ‘30/M’ of 5 years got into an argument about 3 weeks ago. It was a stupid argument after another argument we were about to sleep and I got annoyed and left to sleep on the couch. (Only has ever happened once before and we decided to not do it again) He came to me and said if I don't go back to bed I'm gonna make a huge mistake. I didn't answer and then he said fine, tomorrow morning you pack you s*it and get tf out of here. I didn't say anything, I was shocked. After a couple of minutes he came back out and started arguing and I said that he's f-ed up by what he said. I've been in a financially challenging situation and in the past when he was in a similar situation, I took care of him. I told him I would've never said what he said while he had financial issues and he started crying and apologizing non stop. He told me he'd never say this again and apologized A LOT. I told him I'll forgive. Well. I have a very hard time letting it go. We've recently gotten engaged and I'm just having a hard time feeling loved.

I feel like I can never forget his face and his tone and his words and I feel so small. I told him if I had the money I would've left and he said he understands and he would've done the same. He ensured me that it had nothing to do with my recent financial issues.

I'm very big on soulmates and this is not very soulmate-y to me. I just can't feel loved.

Anyone with a similar situation or advice to get over this?

TDLR; my partner said mean things and apologized but I'm having a hard time letting it go