Laptop Americans have ruined NYC cafe culture

Today I went to meet an old friend and catch up over a coffee. We walked in and out of three cafes in my neighborhood before giving up due to no available seating. Each one was filled to the brim with laptop users

These mindless drones have effectively conquered the entire city's cafe scene, with a few brave pockets of resistance remaining. They sit there for hours on end, incessantly using their phones or online shopping. It can be presumed that these people are remote workers (and I use worker loosely here, with the belief that if you can do your job on only a laptop and in a public setting, it's likely not all that important, and probably doesn't need to exist) who frequent cafes to escape the confines of their small apartments. I can understand and empathize with this sentiment, as this city can be extremely isolating at times. However, in reality all that they accomplish is the reorientation from pure to communal isolation. Brief human interaction occurs at the placing of their order, followed by complete withdrawal from their surroundings via headphones and phone/laptop screens.

What was previously a lively and welcoming space, filled with the sights and sounds of people reading, writing, and enjoying each other's company, has devolved into a dystopian office cafeteria. It's day and night, weekday and weekend. The remote-work hive mind is effectively punishing the rest of society for their lifestyle choices, and I am sick of these fuckers.

My heart bleeds for the small businesses that have to put up with it. Having a patron make a single purchase and then occupy what is often limited seating for hours on end is awful for sales. Worse yet, I'm sure that this idea hasn't even crossed half of these peoples' minds. Some places do have time limited seating policies, but I've yet to see them enforced. Besides that, the only solution I see is a no laptop policy. This could work as a differentiator to competitors but would probably destroy weekday business. It's all quite a sadness.