My nMother pooped in my shower...

yes you read the right... I allowed my nMother to come visit us in a new country, she was meant to stay 3 weeks and only lasted 3 days before she pooped in our shower...

backstory: i am 38F, 3 months pregnant, have a toddler and a husband. we moved to a new country 2 years ago and i have not seen my mother since we let, have spoken to her though. it's been tense, 3 months ago we had a falling out over her divorce from her latest husband, so tells me 3 months after she got a divorce, i was never given an opportunity to say goodbye to step father, whom i didn't mind (my real father died when i was 12).

growing up with my mother as a child was... traumatic. having my own children now i realize just how bad it was and it makes me cry thinking about how we were treated as children. my mother also joined the jehovah's witness when i was 11, so had to deal with that as well. but it was also her excuse to deprive us of birthdays,christmas and anything in our community. she often called me the devil, as a young child. i never understood why, but i remember it. often if i saw her doing something she shouldn't she would tell me to not tell anyone she was doing x otherwise the police would come and arrest her... ever family gathering she would tell family and friends how as a baby i would get poop all over myself and she was so disgusted at having to clean me up... a baby?!? because i have dark hair and eyes and my brother and sister and blond with green eyes, she would 'joke' and tell me i could have been adopted or switched at birth because i dont look like my siblings.... she was often physically, emotionally and mentally abusive is so many ways i would be writing forever.

my older brother went no contact after the last incident 3 months ago with her divorce and handling of it. i stayed in contact because she was looking after our dog, i thankfully managed to get him into our new country, however i can tell the dog is traumatized, he won't let me let him alone, so i have guilt for that.

back to present day... my mother come to visit as she 'had not seen her grandson since he was 6 months old'. she guilt tripped me into letting her come saying i was depriving him of a grandmother. against my instinct i allowed her into my home... big mistake #1. next big mistake, telling her im pregnant. she congratulated me but i could tell something was.... off. for the next two days she goes out of her way to undermine me with my two year old, whenever i said no she would say, granny says you can.

the poop incident: the shower was blocking up yesterday morning after i showered. she had showered before me.. i told my husband to just clear the trap because we have a hair filter on the drain... it's like a double filter... you would know there's a second filter by looking at it. when he opened it up there was all this brown stuff in it and he thought it was weird but clears it out with his hand. anyway he realized it wasn't normal and didn't smell normal... so i know not to put anything down the drain because of the hair trap. he then calls me to come look. i go take one look at it. it dawns on me that i showered in shit water, pregnant earlier in the day, thinking it was just the regular hair buildup... FFS... so disgusting. i then loose it completely and call her into the bathroom and tell her to go look and ask her if she knows what that is? is it her shampoo? did she clean something g down the drain. i literally see the shock on her face which soon turns into defensiveness. she then freaks out and starts shouting at me that im accusing her of pooping in the shower. so i was like i never said it was poop and i never said you did it, i asked if you knew what it could be? she carrie son shouting at me that im accusing her etc. so im like well i need to clean it out, you know im pregnant, do you think its safe for me to use my hands to clean it out? so she storms off... fast forward she's still shouting and wants to clean the shower. so i'm like no you won't clean the shower you said you dont know what it is and you didn't do it, it's my house so i'll clean it.

next thing i know she's pulling her bags out and packing her bags, at this point it's 9pm, we are i europe and it's already very cold at night. anyway she freaks out and packs her bags and spends 1.5 hours until 10pm screaming on the phone outside our front door trying to arrange an uber.

it doesn't come so i tell her to come back inside she does and went to bed, i stayed up bleaching the shower until 11pm...this morning she starts on me again, berating me, telling me im a bad mother. i finally work up the courage and i tell her to get out of my house and wait outside for the taxi to take her to the airport...

have since contacted my siblings to let them know the situation. my sister is checking to see that she arrives safely.

the poop situation... i get people have accidents... maybe she had an upset stomach and extra came out while she was showering... i dont know but then say that, i wouldnt have gotten angry, i have a toddler.... i've changed plenty of nappies. or if you are loosing control of your bowls, tell me. but the defensiveness and packing bags to leave in my opinion is a sign of guilt... and not that it was an accident, but on purpose... i'm asking the internet for your thoughts?

she's done other vindictive things in the past like put sewing needles into the photo of an ex boyfriend... my shock and horror when i saw the poor guys face with all these pin pricks in it and needles in his eyes, mouth etc... horror movie stuff.

sorry for the long rant... god it's next level...