Hot take: people take Astarion's lines at face value too much
Long rant incoming.
And it happens not only on the main sub, but even among Astarion's own fans - especially AA fans - taking Astarion's lines as some gospel truth about what he thinks and feels. The prime example of it is his Spawn epilogue where he says "No one cares when you are killing the bad guys" as though it confirms somehow that he is a sadist who just loves killing and this is the only reason he is doing it. (And of course, his line about how it feels nice to bring people hope instead of terror is completely ignored). Personally, first time I saw it, I took it as a half-joke/half-observation (in the spirit of "this group is full of weirdos!"). And also a reference to the fact that he is a vampire - people usually hate vampires or are afraid of them, he thought, and was pleasantly surprised that people can be actually okay with him and his nature once he starts being a hero. So imagine my surprise when I started reading about it and the internet told me it's about him loving murder and nothing else.
Then he disagrees with Tav that he is a good guy now - again, it's taken as some gospel truth, even though it's evident throughout the game how Astarion hates to look like a hero, or kind, caring, etc:
https://i.redd.it/nwmw0o36moge1.gif
https://i.redd.it/y70m3b0amoge1.gif
This is the reason he will try to pretend he is not worried about kidnapped Yenna: "Not that I care", even when it's obvious he does. Jaheira can even call him out on it:
I'm not saying he is a 100% good guy in the epilogue (though even the Gur think so), he will never be some bleeding heart like Karlach, but his reluctance to admit such things about himself is constantly ignored nonetheless.
Astarion loves cruel jokes, especially in Act 1, but he also loves hell of a ton of absolutely neutral jokes, even when his own life is very much in danger:
https://i.redd.it/0exifputloge1.gif
Or: "Ah, nothing says 'true love' like faking your own death to avoid someone." Yep, Philomeen decided to pretend she is dead to avoid breaking up with her partner, so nice observation, Astarion.
More than that, this character is very much about masking his true feelings (confirmed by Neil, if you ever had any doubt) often deflecting with jokes, sarcasm and dark humor - it's like 80% of how this character presents himself to other people. This is the guy who bitterly laughs when he hears (during his recruitment) that he'll turn into a mindflayer. He laughs absolutely hysterically if Durge takes over the Brain and he knows it's the end of the world. This is the guy who - if you actually tell his siblings they can take him to Cazador - will respond with pure sarcasm:
I would have understood this insistence to take his lines at face value if he was someone like Lae'Zel - completely straightforward person with "what is on my mind is what is on my tongue" behaviour - but it's very obvious he is completely the opposite. Again, Neil - his own voice actor - confirmed that Astarion wears a mask to hide his true feelings and thoughts. Yet even his bark lines are taken as evidence he is a sadistic psychopath - "let's go hurt someone", as though it's not a clever half-joke about what our party is basically doing all the game through - regardless if we are even killing everyone or using non-lethal attacks. Don't get me wrong, I do think he very much enjoys killing the bad guys, but so does Karlach and even someone as chill as Gale: "Let me recite their demise"/"Oh, with glee."/"The lesson is death"/"Their worst nightmare"/"Creator. Destroyer."/"Unleash me"/"Death is but a word away.", etc, etc. It's very clear even someone like Gale (who is not a vampire and doesn't need blood) is reveling in his power and the death it brings with it, yet he never gets the same accusations.
It's also constantly ignored when Astarion is in stress and anger that he is likely just lashing out. "The problem with what Cazador did is that he did it to me" - this line is also constantly taken as 100% truth, as though it's the only thing he EVER says about his siblings and other victims.
But then we also have this hypocrisy - somehow, people who insist he is honest about being super-evil murder hobo before Cazador fight, pretend that as soon as he ascends, he starts lying about his arrogant and confident attitude - no, no, he is secretly still thinks extremely low of himself, the Ritual gave him no self-confidence boost whatsoever, so he thinks that Tav is degrading themselves by staying with him - because, apparently, Ascended Astarion has THAT low self-esteem while only pretending to be this arrogant Vampire Lord with HUGE ego.
Make it make sense, please. And thank you for coming to my ted talk. Sorry if this is something very obvious, but the amount of people I've seen lately not understanding this simple concept is shocking for me really.