I really wanna marry him

He was my bsf but he confessed to me last week before our histology exam, I’m IN LOVE WITH HIM too but we both tried to keep it a secret until that night, and when I asked him why was it specifically that week that he decided whether to confess or not. He told me that the pic of me when I was 9 that I sent him had awakened something in him that made him realize that he really wants his daughter to look like me. But the thing is I’m super afraid of the future and how we might end up, what if we ended up badly or Idk..it’s like wishing if I could travel to the future to know whether we’re gonna make it or not, the overthinking is killing me..I wanna spend my life with him so bad even though I was always afraid/hateful of men and marriage but from him, it made me want it. Ever since that day we’ve been having butterflies in our stomaches everyday, whenever he says my nickname or something flirty/cute I get this weird stinging feeling in my chest and smile immediately. I couldn’t even focus on my Anatomy exam because all what I was thinking about is how we got super excited and happy when we confessed. I feel so ugly all the time to the point where I’m avoiding crowded places because I’d be feeling inferior to the girls around me thinking they’re more beautiful or stylish, but he makes me feel so loved and special. I don’t think I could ever find a guy like him, we almost share all of our interests and our personalities are so similar that even my ex friend told me how talking to him felt like talking to me, he’s like the male version of me and he’s such a super green flag too. I don’t wanna lose him. I’m gonna fight for the day where we will be sitting together on the couch married and playing a video game we both love together while I play with his hair. But then again maybe I’m just being a delusional girl right now.

Anyways that was a random post but I really wanted to say it somewhere.