I Once Thought I’d Be Prophet—How My Faith Journey Changed Everything

My patriarchal blessing said I was “prepared in the preexistence, foreordained and sent forth to be one upon the earth who would give guidance and direction to the entire church.” For years, I believed that meant I was destined to become a prophet of God. It caused me perpetual anxiety that I would never measure up and constantly question all my decisions. It was not something I wanted or had been hoping for.  That belief profoundly shaped my identity and drove me to try to deepen my testimony of Joseph Smith, better understand the Restoration, and learn what it means to be a prophet.

That same drive led me to dive into LDS sources and church historians, hoping to strengthen my faith. But instead of reinforcing my testimony, what I uncovered left me with questions I couldn’t reconcile. The foundation of my faith began to crack, and eventually, it crumbled entirely. I found myself outside the church, questioning not only the doctrines I once believed in but also who I was without them.

Today marks five years since I stopped attending church. Writing, reading, researching, and connecting with others who have gone through similar experiences has been deeply healing and helped me make sense of the chaos I felt during my transition.

I know there are many here with diverse perspectives and experiences, and I’m curious—have any of you received patriarchal blessings that shaped your life in significant ways? And how has that belief (or letting go of it) affected your journey?

This is my first post here, but I’ve read so much from this group over the years. I truly appreciate the thoughtful and supportive discussions that take place here. Thank you for being such a meaningful community.