I think my husbands obsessed with sex

With in the past year my husband has opened up to me about his kinks. Started with pegging then to cross dressing and now he’s shared with me his attraction to transgendered females . I do my best to not kink shame and be as open as possible. Since I’ve been so accepting that’s all that is on his mind . I expressed that it makes me feel inadequate at times and has caused me to have anxiety about having sex with him. For context we also have a 4 month old who is still co sleeping with us because I exclusively bf and he’s still waking at night sometimes 4 times a night . We have had sex about 5-6 times ( I’m sure he knows the exact minutes)since our son was born .apparently he’s feeling unloved regardless of how much love I show him outside of sex. He makes rude comments when I say “ not tonight” ect. I am TIRED. I am going through fluctuations of hormones. All his fantasies with make me feel uncomfortable or make me feel inadequate. When we do have sex it takes forever because he masturbates so much ! I feel gaslit anytime we have a conversation about it . I’m surviving here and he seems to only care about himself .

Edit: yes we have established he is bi sexual. It’s not a turn off but has affected my self confidence Tl;dr husband wants sex and I’m too tired or too uncomfortable. How do i communicate that to him without him thinking i don’t care about his needs?