Spousal abuse help

Hi! Just to be clear: there is no physical abuse (yet). I (F29) am married with two kids. My husband (M31) is psychologically, emotionally, and financially abusive. My therapist is worried and wants me to have an escape plan.

A few questions: 1) my therapist thinks that if I am able to leave, I have to stay in the same school district for my kids. Is this true? Is there a loophole when there’s (non-physical) abuse? 2) is there any way to get free mental heath services? My SO won’t submit my bill to insurance and I’m paying for it out of pocket myself and can’t afford it. My therapist is looking for cheap/pro-bono options but thought I could ask. 3) is there a way to get government housing assistance without first moving to a shelter? I don’t want to take my kids from their house and their comfort to live in a shelter for who knows how long.

Some examples of the behaviors would be constant tracking of my location via my phone, if it’s turned off there’s a fight. We have cameras in the house for the kids (in their rooms and the play room). He’s used these to listen in on my phone conversations. He’s told me he was going to take the kids away from me, I’m not allowed to stay in our house anymore, that he has written goodbye notes to our kids and planned to unalive himself with my heart medication but didn’t because I take the “wrong one”. He will snatch my phone from my hands, go through my drawers in our bedroom, and gets angry if I happen to be wearing underwear with lace because he assumes it’s for someone else. I’ve never been unfaithful. I moved here to be with him so I don’t have any family to stay with, and only have two friends who can’t help me either.

Just looking for some answers to those questions for now.

TIA!