Birthdays don’t feel the same anymore

Turned 21 today and it feels like any other day . I can’t even remember the last time I celebrated my birthday . No joy , no excitement , no looking forward to wishes and gifts . Instead i feel like shit because I haven’t achieved anything in my life yet , had a few friends but they’ve grown distant and we barely talk , told my parents I don’t want any gifts or money , I don’t want them to waste money on me . I miss my childhood when my mom hosted small parties at home and we used to invite my friends , cousins and neighbour’s kids and just eat , sing and laugh which was pure joy . i wanna go back to those days . Seeing others celebrating their birthdays on social media makes me jealous and sad as much as i hate to accept it. But it is what it is. Thank you for reading till here and i hope your day goes well :) .