This is so miserable

Sitting in a cold van, hungry, everything reeks of period blood.

I hate it.

I just want to be clean, warm, and fed. None of those things are happening. I feel like giving up, but just can't. I don't know what keeps me going, and I can't believe it's gonna keep up much longer.

God I hate it here...

A huge part of me wishes I was the type to steal or scam or whatever to get what I need, but I can't bring myself to do that kind of stuff. Suffering because I'm a decent person who just can't figure out life.

I seriously hate this whole plane of existence.

Edit: I'm in Reedsport, OR if it matters.