Is this actually consent?
Back in the day I talked big game when I sexted with people but when it came to actually doing it, sometimes I would chicken out because it was either too overwhelming or I just wasn’t ready in that moment. Of course no one forced me into doing anything because thank god for decent men.
When I was in a relationship with my ex, we once had a fight while we were on vacation. I didn’t speak to him for a few days on that trip. One day, he came to the room while was lying on the bed scrolling, and he started pulling up my dress. I told him I was not in the mood. He said (something along the lines of) “are you going to give it to me or do I have to take it?” I didn’t protest after that and we had sex. Do you know how long it took me to realize that that was not okay? YEARS.
I think about it sometimes and how fucked up that was but of course it’s not ruining my life. Partly because I’ve been through a lot worse as a kid and spent decades in therapy getting over my childhood trauma of being groomed at the age of 8. Funnily enough I was still in therapy when I met my ex - he was the first man I trusted to be intimate with; oh the irony. He was horrible by the way. Forced me to go to sex parties, brought other girls in our bedroom and I was in a really fucked up place and had no self-respect so I allowed all of that to happen.
Buuuut, I guess I can see myself in these girls and I can see how the screenshots don’t reflect the reality. 20-something-YO fucked up women taken advantage of by a narcissitic predator… yeah, I’ve been there.
God bless therapy and NOT being in your 20s anymore.
Back in the day I talked big game when I sexted with people but when it came to actually doing it, sometimes I would chicken out because it was either too overwhelming or I just wasn’t ready in that moment. Of course no one forced me into doing anything because thank god for decent men.
When I was in a relationship with my ex, we once had a fight while we were on vacation. I didn’t speak to him for a few days on that trip. One day, he came to the room while was lying on the bed scrolling, and he started pulling up my dress. I told him I was not in the mood. He said (something along the lines of) “are you going to give it to me or do I have to take it?” I didn’t protest after that and we had sex. Do you know how long it took me to realize that that was not okay? YEARS.
I think about it sometimes and how fucked up that was but of course it’s not ruining my life. Partly because I’ve been through a lot worse as a kid and spent decades in therapy getting over my childhood trauma of being groomed at the age of 8. Funnily enough I was still in therapy when I met my ex - he was the first man I trusted to be intimate with; oh the irony. He was horrible by the way. Forced me to go to sex parties, brought other girls in our bedroom and I was in a really fucked up place and had no self-respect so I allowed all of that to happen.
Buuuut, I guess I can see myself in these girls and I can see how the screenshots don’t reflect the reality. 20-something-YO fucked up women taken advantage of by a narcissitic predator… yeah, I’ve been there.
God bless therapy and NOT being in your 20s anymore.