thinking of kicking off two bridesmaids…..

I know the title sounds harsh but it’s straight to the point.

I’m a July 2025 bride and had asked my girls this past June to be my bridesmaids. If it were my choice, I would’ve had 4 girls as my bridesmaids. Less stressful, more meaningful to my bridal journey. But, my fiance wanted 8 guys in his side so I was like okay, no problem I have 8 girls too 🙃

I asked 2 of my best friends to join as I felt like they would’ve been so down for it (let’s call them Friend A and Friend B). I was a bridesmaid to Friend A and did anything and everything she asked during her wedding/bachelorette. Friend B was also included in this wedding as well. Anything that Friend A wanted we both supported.

Anyways, Friend A straight up tells me that she can’t do the bachelorette. I haven’t even proposed my idea and the cost. She admits she’s not financially able too and that she hopes we have a great time! Okay, great. Don’t be a bridezilla. It’s all cool cause things happen 🤷🏻‍♀️ Then she tells me she can’t afford the hairstylist I’m bringing so she’s gonna do it at home cause her mom is a stylist. Cool.

I held a bridal lunch to go over all the bachelorette ideas and what we planned on doing. Mind you this bachelorette is in June 2025 and the total cost would be around $330 including airbnb, t-shirts and themed outfits (my themed outfits are not even crazy and one night we’re doing PJs, the same ones we will be using for the morning of the wedding). I tried to keep it as affordable as possible. I hear stories of brides asking girls to pay 1k for bachelorette trips. I really didn’t believe in having a crazy bachelorette anyways. We aren’t even going far outside our city, I just wanted to go on a wine tour and have a great time 🥲 Both friends A & B couldn’t show up, they had school/clinical obligations along with 1 other bridesmaid. Yea, they missed the meeting I planned a month in advanced and asked EVERYONE if they were available to attend. I get it, some of these things you can’t control but maybe reach out and ask what you missed?

Now, Friend B says she can’t financially afford the bachelorette. She still hasn’t paid for makeup which I’ve asked everyone to do so to spread out costs. Bridesmaid dress is $89.

I already feel tremendously guilty about asking everyone to pay for dress, hair + makeup, and bachelorette trip. But, I’ve given my girls bridesmaids gifts, and I plan on spoiling them on the trip with more gifts. Anything Friend A wanted, I did it in a heartbeat and she made us drive 4 hours away for her bachelorette and 5 hours to her hometown for her wedding. I was even baffled by her bachelorette + wedding costs that totaled over $400 but I was like, I said yes, this means so much to her. Even when I didn’t have the financial means, I still made it work. My fiance actually helped me pay for hair and makeup for Friend A’s wedding. He made the hotel accommodations (he’s a gentleman and would’ve done it regardless but still). I’ve talked about it with my fiance and he supports my decision seeing how much it’s been upsetting me.

I’d also like to add I’m pregnant with my first child so my emotions are all over the place. I’ve been extremely over emotional so I feel the guilt and insecurity 10x more. It’s to the point where I just want to cancel. I keep wondering, do the other girls feel this way? Are they dreading my own bachelorette???? 😓

Maybe I need some outside perspective. Am I being a brideszilla for asking them to step down?

EDITS: I added titles Friend A and Friend B to differentiate and to avoid confusion