26M Struggling with Overbearing 25F Friend and Her Messy Marriage – Need Advice on Setting Boundaries
I'm M26, and my friend (25F) has been married for a little over a year. We've been friends for more than three years.
I need advice about two issues I’m dealing with in this friendship:
- She talks a lot, and it’s draining me.
She’s always been a talkative person, which I didn’t mind earlier because she used to listen too. But lately, whenever we talk on the phone, the calls easily go over 1.5 hours, and 90% of the time, it’s just her talking. My role is basically saying "hmm," "yeah," or "no" while she vents about her life.
She doesn’t ask if I’m busy, if I have the energy to listen, or if I’m tired. Even when I try to say no, she still insists on calling. I can’t avoid her every time, and it’s becoming exhausting.
- Her relationship decisions are a mess, and I’m stuck in the middle.
In the past three years, she’s dated two men and married the second one. Her first relationship was with a married man. She knew he was married but kept dating him because, according to her, “he was attractive, and the sex was good.” I told her not to get involved, but she continued until she met her now-husband.
She married her current husband just three months after they started dating. I told her it was way too soon, but she didn’t listen. Now, they’re constantly fighting and talking about ending the marriage.
Her husband recently showed me a screenshot where she sent a “deep cleavage pic” to one of her male colleagues. She claims it was just a friendly picture, but her husband feels even more insecure than he already was, and this has led to even bigger fights.
I’m frustrated because I feel like I’m always the one trying to help or listen to her, but she doesn’t respect my boundaries or advice. I don’t want to abandon the friendship, but it’s becoming too much. How do I handle this?