How should I react? Is it a betrayal?

I (M22) was raped at the age of eight, something I believed no one else knew. But two years later, my cousin (who was M14 and me 10 at that moment) told me he knew all about it. He told me that it was okay. Then, he told that he liked me and asked if we could start a sexual relationship.

Until that moment, I had never thought about boys. But after what I had gone through, my thoughts began to revolve only around boys. Since he had always shown care for me, both before and after that event, I accepted it. I even believed that one day we would get married.

However, after about two years, he told me that sexual relationships between the same gender were not allowed and that there's no way we'll get married. I don’t think he knew this before, as I hadn’t, as our society is not open on such matters.

The problem is, I still like him. And now, my cousin is in his first relationship, with a girl. In our society, such things are rarely spoken about, so I never imagined he would start a new relationship, especially with a girl, as I never did. To me, it feels like a betrayal.