Once you see the reality of motherhood, it's hard to unsee it.

I am a 28-year-old woman living in the United States. I'm at that age where people are asking me why I don't have any kids yet or why I am waiting as long as I am to have children. I plan on waiting even longer, and I am technically a fence sitter. Why? Because I see the reality of what motherhood is,especially here in the United States and that deters me from wanting to ever have children of my own. Mothers here in the US are underappreciated, underpaid, and taken advantage of practically every single step of the way. The US lacks affordable health care, daycare, and living wages. You cannot rely on the father of your child to stick around and help you with your child or children. Your career suffers. Your body suffers. Your mental health suffers. And whenever you reach out for help, people look you dead in your face and say that you asked for this, so you deal with it. There is a lack of community for mothers and it seems that people only want you to have children so you can join them in misery.

I read the regretful parents subreddit nearly every day, which maybe I shouldn't do, but it seems to be the only place on the internet where people are honest about their parenthood experience. Most of the time people lie about their parenthood experience and try to make it sound so much better than what it actually is and motherhood is romanticized so much in society that it's no wonder that the reality of what it actually is, is so shocking to people when they find themselves in it.

I have quite a few friends around my age with children and they are absolutely miserable with minimal support from their families. Money is always tight, and their partners are nearly always unhelpful. It's sad to watch.

My partner wants to have children someday but unfortunately they're only seeing the romanticized side of things. I myself have seen the effects and damages of motherhood on many an individual, and it is making me hesitant to ever pursue motherhood. It is hard for me to see any positives about motherhood. This does make me sad because I don't think motherhood should be as difficult as it is and that there should be more support for mothers here in the US and globally, but unfortunately we just don't have that. And because of that, how could I ever fully convince myself that having a child is a good idea, knowing that it may very well be my downfall?

Does anyone else here feel similar?

If you read this far, thank you.