I asked my boyfriend to pay for my brazillian butt plastic surgery and he refused

I need to get this off my chest because i cant tell if im an asshole or gaslighting myself.

Early last year i opted to spend my life savings ($7200) on a brazillian butt lift plastic surgery. It was my way to "treat myself" post a ugly brake up with my long term boyfriend. After we went our seperate ways I did the single rounds for a while but always knew I was looking for something serious so I opted for the surgery to boost my confidence on the dating circuit as well as hopefully do better as I was striking out on all of the apps.

My mother criticized me intensely for the operation but I always felt she was overstepping bounds as she is solely able to take care of HERSELF from her SS payment and doesnt contribute a cent to me or my daughter. I also did not assume debt as a result of the surgery and made sure to thoroughly budget it out so my daughter would not go without heat and the like.

The operation went off without a hitch and 6 weeks later I was healed and settled. After a few more months of dating around I met Miguel who was a attractive man who no was not rich but had done nicely for himself and would be able to contribute to my daughter. I was transparent from the start about my intentions for a long term relationship, my daughter, and my need for a financially independant man. We got along great at first and seemed to be looking for the same things.

Saying Miguel enjoyed my "enhancements" was an understatement he couldn't keep his hands off of them smelled them and stared all the time. He even would come home with brand new grey workout shorts and have me wear them while cooking dinner or brewing coffee. and he would stare. At first I was unbothered by this as it was refreshing to be around a more sexual man than my ex.

After six months of dating I introduced Miguel to my daughter and they got along well. At this point I was really starting to envision myself marrying this man and began to settle into the more "settled" stage of a relationship where it feels as though you can build a home. A few more months of calm passed before my car broke down and needed a costly repair. I had been financially struggling for a large portion of our relationship but never felt comfortable asking for money in large sums only accepting paid for dates and takeout and the exercise shorts. Smaller things like that.

However at this point in the relationship it felt comfortable to ask for money and I also felt it would be a final "test" so to speak to see if he was truly committed I did some calculations and asked him if he could pay for my car repair. Miguel seemed offended that I asked and immediatly was standoffish. I got heated and told him that the repair was roughly the same cost as my "enhancements" and its the least he could do to cover it he could look at it like he was paying for my enhancements. He got very upset and things turned ugly from there in terms of a verbal fight. I threatened to get the implants removed and he taunted me saying he knew I wouldnt and for anyone who knows me that was the last thing he should have done.

I have emotionally wrestled with if getting these implants was the right decision from the start. I carry a lot of guilt around treating myself and looked at this like an opportunity to finally choose myself but of course it didnt go right and at this point I was fed up with it all and just wanted this nightmare behind me. I saved up my paychecks paid for my car with a credit program and that August scheduled a removal procedure. I was quoted at $8900 for the removal including anesthesia hospital stay and all. I had to pay for the procedure on credit but felt comfortable assuming the debt. Assuming I didnt encounter any large unexpected expense I was slated to pay off the debt in total by late 2028.

The surgery date came and long story short the procedure was botched. I was left in pain and with an unsightly and uneven backside. Miguel began to completely lose interest in the bedroom and from here I knew it was the beginning of the end. I felt so heartbroken and stupid that he loved my implants so much but when I really needed him he became so cold.

My mental health began to decline and I knew I had to get this fixed to regain my confidence so I researched and scheduled a revision and was quoted at $9500 for the procedure. The revision occured back in January and I am near the end of my healing period. The revision was a great success and now I am back to my normal and somewhat curvy self LOL. So TLDR over 20 grand to realize I love myself without surgery and look almost the same as before this nightmare started. My mother is on the "i told you so train" and guilting me often and I feel so stupied but yet justified in the whole episode. I have since completely moved on from Miguel and am working on myself at the moment. Just needed to get this off my chest and thank you for reading if you read this far.