I fking hate my virginity and im gonna kill myself

I am a17 yr old boy, i am a virgin and i hate it, all my friends lost their virginity while i rot, no girl wants me, i try to keep those toughts away but they force their way in my head and i cant get them out, i cant sleep anymore, i know sex is not most important thing in life but my hormones force me to think about it wich causes me to become obsessed with it, i cant think about anything else anymore my brain chemistry is fucked, every time my friends start talking about sex i get severe anxiety attack my heart starts pounding, hands sweat and shake, head starts spinning and hurting, stomach get ill and sometimes i vomit blood, i cant get those toughts away, i bang my head against wall until it bleeds same with fists, i really try to improve but those intrusive toughts wont go away, every time i see a boy with girl, i feel rage and envy, all my friends know my condition non of them know how to help me not even my doctors dont know how to help me, i am a fucking coward bitchboy who cant get girls, girls hate me , i hate myself too, i just want to fucking die and rest.