My big brother attempted. I don't know what to do.

My (31f) big brother (33m) attempted 2 days ago. He doesn't talk to me or my mom, my father's been out of the picture for 20 years (his own decision). My brother is a very angry and very anxious person. We had a very difficult family dynamic growing up. He and my mom have virtually no relationship, and he and I have (until now) had a very surface level, precarious relationship. My mom and I can get along to a point, but all 3 of us have difficulties with emotional regulation and communication.

My brother attempted 2 days ago, it's his second attempt in less than a year and 3rd attempt (that I'm aware of) overall. Last time he was in the hospital and they let him leave as soon as he was physically able to. Last time he let me in the room to see him but not my mom. He's back in the hospital now and he's refusing to see me this time. I'm not upset with him for that, I don't understand it but I completely respect that that's what he needs. I just don't know what to do. I don't know how to help, if I can at all. I don't know how to feel. I flash between angry and sad and scared and exhausted. And in trying to figure all of that out I feel so fucking guilty because I feel like I'm making this about me. Like I'm being selfish.

And that's the last piece is that my mom, in her inability to regulate or communicate, is very blatantly making it about her. And she's a very (by her own choosing) socially isolated person, I am without exaggeration the only person on this earth that she still socializes with in any way. So I'm the only outlet and support she has so she's leaning entirely 100% on me through this. She's also calling the hospital every day to try and get updates even though she's been told repeatedly that he didn't give consent for us to be updated. She's texting him. She's talking about going to his apartment to get some of his things to bring to him in the hospital. And I can't talk her out of any of it.

I went to the apartment when we got the call that he'd attempted. I watched them carry his greyed and barely conscious body off the balcony, I talked with the police and his former job and the social worker and the nurses. And I'm now bearing the brunt of my mother's emotional needs and trying to get her to leave him alone and having absolutely no idea how my brother is or what's happening to him or what he's feeling or how to help him and I have no idea how to feel or what to do.

Maybe I just needed to vent. I'm on my way into work and am doing my best to just not feel anything at all so I can get through the shift but I'm so terrified of everything just crashing. I'm sorry if this all reads as desperate self-involvement. I'm just trying to figure out literally any piece of this.