Holidays Are the Worst

Lost daughter in August. I knew Christmas would be bad and it was. Made it through with the help of alcohol (I know, not healthy, but it's an extraordinary situation so whatever it takes.)

Now we are staring down New Years and I think this might be even worse. The reminiscing, the Auld Lang Syne, and worst of all, the thought of going into a year where she will never exist. She can't go with. It feels like leaving her firmly behind and I don't want to.