When did you feel genuinely happy again?

I was only at about 5 FF a day. But I was doing it because it put me in a better mood. It made me less irritable, a better employee at work, a better spouse, a better mom.

I’m scared I’ll never feel happy without it. I am a recovering alcoholic (2.5 yrs) and alcohol was the same with me —I wasn’t happy without it.

I was about a year sober from alcohol when I came across these vile things. I think (?) I was happy then. But I’m scared I’ll never find the “better mood” again.

I’m on lexapro and Gabapentin already. I just want to be normal 🤦🏻‍♀️