A comprehensive guide of the body count and the body count of Ninja Sex Party.
This band has a lot of songs about sex and murder. It's rare that you get one that features neither of the two.
Some things to note:
Self-pleasure (even if it's a God-damn celebration) and sex with inanimate (no matter how much practice the perpetrator had in advance) objects do not count. There are two NSP songs about masturbation and two about having sex with random objects.
Multiple sexual encounters in one relationship do not count. Danny does have "3 minutes of ecstasy several times a month" at one point, but we count that as one sexual encounter, since we're counting murders as compared to sexual encounters in the theoretical body count to body count comparison.
Murdering Danny does count, he follows Looney Toons Logic.
Also, The Last Unicorn doesn't count since it's a cover of a song from a movie.
I Just Want To Dance
Danny: 1 kill, 1000 sexual encounters.
The Decision
Brian: 1 kill
No Reason Boner
No deaths or sex
If We Were Gay
Brian: 1 kill. Any depiction of oral sex is hypothetical.
Sex Training
Danny and Brian: 1 sexual encounter. "We" is used, meaning this is, in fact, a 3 way.
Objects of Desire
No actual sex, though there is some real passion.
You Can Do Us!
Nothing happened
Manticore
Manticore: 1 kill (kill your sister just for fun is hypothetical), 2 sexual encounters
Brian: 1 kill (but he may have been a zombie)
Dinosaur laser fight
Brian: 1 kill
Dinos and Sharks: 3 kills
FYI I wanna F your A
Nothing happened.
NSP Theme Song
Brian: 3 kills
3 Minutes of Ecstacy
Danny: I mean, he finished. I'll call that sex. 1 sexual encounter.
Next To You
Danny: Two sexual encounters
Unicorn Wizard
It was a dream, so nothing happened.
The Ultimate Sandwich
Danny: 1 sexual encounter
Brian: 1 kill
Let's Get This Terrible Party Started!
Brian: 9 kills
Best Friends Forever!
Brian: 50,005 kills (this is a retroactive number. At this point, the total is 50,005, since the song mentions a 50,000 head count, then 5 more kills occur.)
Rinoceratops vs Superpuma
Rinoceratops and Superpuma: Kind of impossible to tell, at least 68 million kills, 1 sexual encounter.
Brian: 2 kills (doesn't seem like Doug died)
Danny: 2 sexual encounters
Party of Three
Brian: 313 kills
Dragon Slayer
Brian: 1 kill, 1 sexual encounter
Danny: No kills, but he claims 4.
Manticore: 1 sexual encounter, along with some unnamed characters.
Attitude City
Brian: 1 kill
Why I Cry
Danny: 1 sexual encounter
Brian: 1 kill
Peppermint Creams
Danny: 1 sexual encounter
Brian: 1 kill (and several hamsters)
I don't know if killing skeletons actually counts.
Everybody Shut Up!
Brian: Not really a kill, but he sort of got the last hit. No points.
Road Trip
Brian: 1 kill
Very hard to math. I'm going to assume lowest possible count, assuming Danny is exclusively straight (confirmed by Orgy for One and If We Were Gay)
Danny:
Girl a few weeks ago= 1
Most of New York- I assume that's most of New York's female population. (4,382,000) so half of that would be 2,191,000, so to get a majority it would be 2,191,001
Banged them silly in Philly- minimum 2
Had them screaming for Baltimore- minimum 2
Des Moines and Dallas- 1 each, 2 total
DC- 1
Miami- 1
Santa Fe- 1
Phoenix- 1
Seattle- 1
Britain- "them" is used, minimum 2
Lima- 1
Fiji- 1
Norway 3
Sweden- 1
New Zealand- 1
Russia- Plural "Russians", so minimum 2
"I banged La Desh"- Previously, I assumed that "Banged La Desh" meant that there had to be a majority of women in Bangladesh that were banged, now I've come to the conclusion that even one women named "La Desh" anywhere on earth would qualify. Therefore, this is a 1. Note that "Desh" is a boy's name in Bangladesh, but assuming a woman in Bangladesh got a man's name, then moved to any given Spanish speaking country and wanted to have her proper articles used, she would be "La Desh".
Total: 2,191,024 sexual encounters minimum.
Cookies!
Danny: 1 kill
Brian: 3 kills
Samurai Abstinence Patrol
Brian: 4 kills
Danny: 12 sexual encounters
Barry: 1 kill
6969
Danny: 1 sexual encounter
Brian: 4 kills
Cool Patrol
No increase in stats
Eating Food in The Shower
Danny: 1 sexual encounter
Orgy for One
No stats increase, but proudly.
Danny Don't You Know
No stats increase, but again with great confidence.
Heart Boner
No stats increase
First Date
Danny: 5 kills
Brian: 1 sexual encounter.
This song is so backwards.
Release the Kraken
Kraken: I don't know... several?
Courtship of the Mermaid
Brian: 2 kills
Mansion Party
Battle Pandas: Unclear amount of casualties.
Brian: 1 kill
Danny: 1 kill
The Decision Part 2
Brian: 1 kill
I don't know what we're talking about
No increase in stats but I love this song
Thunder and Lightning
Danny: 8 kills
Brian: 1 kill
Wondering tonight
No change in stats, but this song made me laugh the most of any of them
It's Bedtime
Brian: 1 kill
Danny: 1 sexual encounter (in like the last 5 frames, he's getting with the mom)
Welcome To My Parent's House
No change in stats.
The Mystic Crystal
Brian: 2 kills
I Own a Car
Brian: 7 kills. He kills Dan three times in one song, which may be a record (ejector seat, running him over, stopping the car with his bare hand).
Let's Save the Earth
Brian: 1 kill. Brian killing the bearded child's dad is in Dan's imagination.
Galaxy Hamster
No change in stats. The Galaxy Hamster does, in fact, survive.
Dance 'Til you Stop
Danny and Tom die inside, but we cannot count that.
Death Metal
Actually retroactively unkilled Danny at the end of Mansion party, but I didn't count that since I couldn't track the battle panda death stats anyways.
Brian- 4 kills, all Danny.
Danny- 1 kill, a goat.
You could argue that the sweet señorita counts as an addition to the body count, since there is a heart between her and Danny, but I'd argue that this isn't as explicit as a lot of the other songs and may have just been a nice goat sacrificing day, so I'll call it a no, unless there's some sort of confirmation that this lead to a sexual encounter.
Totals
Danny
17 kills, 2192048 sexual encounters.
Brian
50,373 kills, 3 sexual encounters.
Manticore
1 or 2 kills, 3 sexual encounters
Conclusion
This is the least fun way to enjoy a comedy band. I just did this because "body count" is a double entendre and now I want to die in a hole. Literally 3 hours of my life down the drain. Holy crap.
Edit: Added the music videos available for the newest album, though some may come in the future.
My top 3 songs in order, from going over this again are:
- I don't know what we're talking about
- Wondering Tonight
- Courtship of the Mermaid
All three made me audibly laugh even after having watched them before.