Men's loneliness is not men's fault.

It's common for feminists to say that men's loneliness is men's fault and they often mock and ridicule lonely men. They constantly use stories of a woman being murdered and use it to generalize lonely men, despite the fact that the offender may have not necessarily been a lonely man, let alone motivated by loneliness. In fact, there's no evidence that lonely men who struggle with dating are more misogynistic, and if anything, they're less misogynistic. Misogynistic men were found to be far more promiscuous than other men, and often are short-term mating oriented. They have relationship experience and a high amount of casual sex experience. The incel online community is just an overemphasized minority of misogynists.

This so-called "dating expert" named DatePsych on Twitter has spent a lot of time portraying lonely men negatively, and cites studies to try to "prove" it. He cites a study he conducted himself showing that almost half of young adult men have never approached a woman before, but he even acknowledges himself that his sample probably had a sampling bias. He believes people who pursue dating more were overrepresented, but I think it's the opposite. It could be people who were blackpilled, love-shy, or lacked dating opportunities disproportionately responded to the study. He also cites studies saying that men playing videogames or not socializing is why casual sex is declining (but many people still DO have casual sex, regardless of whether it is less common). The problem is that this could include people who are sexless because they're not interested in sex or who are very introverted or not interested in social gatherings as much, not people who are interested in these things but lack the occasion. Also, it could be that people who struggle with dating have less social lives and struggle with meeting people because many grew up ostracized or rejected by peers, and because they lack a social life, might play videogames in their free time when they don't have anyone to hang out with. It's not that they aren't looking for a social life, but when they have a weekend without anyone to talk to, they'll spend time playing videogames to fill the void. Maybe there's more introverts than they used to, maybe people are taking more time to adjust to adulthood these days (i.e.: a slow life history strategy), and maybe more technology gives people more things to do indoors. He even tries to say that men aren't interested in being friends with other men and that's why they are isolated. Well no, that's not it.

Men who are lonely or isolated aren't the types who just refuse to be friends with other men, and if they refuse, they're probably not lonely out of it.

The truth is, both men and women are less interested in being friends or hanging out with men compared to women. Women tend to be more socially popular. There's even evidence showing that people socially stigmatize autistic men more than autistic women even when controlling for autism severity and masking, and that the neurotypical women were rated the most socially likeable, with autistic women being just slightly less socially liked than neurotypical men and far more socially liked than autistic men. They conclude that being a woman is a protective factor against social stigma for autistic women. This can be explained by the fact that people are more interested in being friends with women and this can explain why women get more attention on social media. In fact, men tended to prefer a higher number of friends but less close or intimate, whereas women preferred a few very close friends. Women were very close with their friends and would discuss personal issues with them, whereas men preferred doing things with their friends, especially as a group. This can include drinking at bars, playing sports, or going to the gym together. Many men even were willing to cancel plans with male friends to spend time with female friends, and were more interested in sharing their emotions and personal problems with female friends the way women do with each other. This isn't due to "toxic masculinity", but men tend to enjoy doing things together as a group and often prefer a high number of friends who do things as groups rather than be close friends.

So why is this? It's not due to "toxic masculinity". In fact, cross-culturally, it was found that universally across societies, men have a hierarchal preferences of many male friends with a few closer ones than others with less intimacy, and women have preferences for a clique of a few close friends with dyadic relationships. This is for evolutionary reasons. Men might need to form clubs of men together during the sexual division of labor to fight against attackers or to hunt together or protect their community. Women were hardwired to prefer same-sex dyadic friendships for multiple reasons: Given the likelihood of ancestral patrilocality (where the woman would live in the husband's home or near the husband's parents or community), young women often would enter communities where they lacked kin. For women, kin is fitness-enhancing, which is shown in anthropoid primates and humans. As a result, women were hardwired to find close same-sex friendships where kin did not exist so they could be safe and have someone to talk to in case they deal with aggression from others whether it's aggressive men or inter-female aggression in the new community where she lacks kin. In patrilocal bonobos, the female bonobos will enter foreign communities in adolescence and bond with other females, especially older ones. The researchers elaborate:

A second explanation posits that, since females are the driving agents in human pair- bond formation, it may be a female-specific sexual strategy to form exclusive dyadic relationships. In this framework, the high frequency of female-female dyads in women’s lives might be a by-product of a preference for pairbonding. A third explanation focuses on females’ unique capacity for intense empathic relationships, derived from the mother-infant bond. In this model, heightened female empathy creates an emphasis on individual relationships as a consequence of the psychological toolbox of mothering. In comparison, males generally neither have nor require this capacity, and hence they form less emotionally close bonds, those of friendship included.

The researchers even said that this difference in friendship styles between men and women was discovered cross-culturally and among the closest related species, like chimpanzees and bonobos.

A study finds that men tend to value sexual attractiveness in an opposite-sex friend a lot, and women value it to some degree in opposite sex friends, but less than men do. Men viewed sexual attraction as a somewhat important reason for initiating friendships with women, and women valued it as not very important. Nonetheless, men did not find it that important to initiate a friendship with women to pursue sex, and women did not find it important at all, whether she was single or taken, and certainly not if she was taken. Sexual attraction was viewed as fairly important in an opposite sex friendship by men, especially single men, and even women, although not as often, viewed it as somewhat important (at least single women). Although men, unlike women, viewed desire for sex as somewhat important in a friendship with women, they did not usually have it as a reason to start a friendship with women. Neither men nor women view lack of sex as a reason to end an opposite sex friendship. Nonetheless, some men viewed loss of attraction as a slightly, but not very important reason to end a friendship with women, but not many viewed it as that important of a reason. Women valued physical strength in a partner as somewhat important, and viewed it as a somewhat important reason to befriend a man. Both men and women, at least when single, considered someone being a potential romantic partner as a slightly important reason for initiating friendships with them. Men were more likely to value friendships with a woman due to sexual attraction than women, but that doesn't mean they prioritized it. Women were far more likely to desire a male friend for protection or end her friendship due to lack of protection, but that doesn't mean she prioritized it in male friends. The biggest predictor of why one valued sexual attraction or desire for sex in a partner was sociosexuality. Men have a less restricted sociosexuality than women (unless women ovulate). Sociosexuality was also a bigger predictor than gender for why one initiated a friendship by viewing someone as relationship material. Men and women's reasons for ending opposite sex friendship were usually due to arguments or falling outs or betrayals (e.g.: they tried to turn others against me), and men rarely ended friendships because of a lack of sex, and women were actually more likely to end friendships because he wasn't able to protect her than men were to end a friendship because she wasn't sexually interested in him.

This myth feminists make up of a man who pretends to be friends with women to have sex with them does not exist. While men might value attraction to a woman to some extent in why they befriend them, they don't prioritize it and they don't usually end the friendships with them if they don't become a relationship or a fling. If they do, it might be due to the awkwardness after her not reciprocating interest rather than not valuing the friendship. Women value protection to some extent in why they befriend men, but that doesn't mean they usually end friendships just because he couldn't protect her nor does that mean she's using him for protection. Men and women, particularly when single, can value a potential relationship to some extent when befriending the opposite sex. Men might do it more because they have less restricted sociosexualities and pursue more, but that doesn't mean they prioritize it or end friendships off of no relationship or fling happening. Additionally, research shows most relationships began as friendships and they didn't usually have feelings at first or that they developed feelings after a couple years knowing each other. That's why people often get ghosted when dating, because people often look for dates by asking out people they just met or on apps, which only works more for short-term flings unless you meet someone very similar to you. People, especially if single, might value relationships to some extent when looking at befriending the opposite sex, but it doesn't mean they prioritize it. Many friendzoned men may have eventually developed feelings into the friendship and then wanting a relationship by that point, and she didn't reciprocate. It doesn't mean he never valued a friendship with them. It's not that simple.

It's hard for men to make friends compared to women because people are not interested in getting close with men.

There's evidence that men are less likely to have a best friend than women but this switches when people become elderly. Men's social circles decline when they turn 30 or older and marry, and this could be because they have a family to protect and no longer need to form a club of men who can fight outsiders or hunt together historically. Young women often need female friends for alloparental care and emotional support, which is good for their fitness and motherhood. Although men lose their male friends when marrying as they get older, women don't lose their female friends for aforementioned reasons, but women have less friends or social contacts after age 50 when they begin to focus more on becoming a grandparent and taking care of grandchildren (especially when her husband might be more likely than her to die before her). As a result, women have to focus more on taking care of grandkids.

It's harder for men to befriend others because lonelier men do want a social life, and without one, it's hard to meet potential partners anyways. Unfortunately, many people are more interested in befriending women than men, and many men might have friend groups or might not be able to become close friends with new men, so they might not be able to hang out one on one and get to know each other. This is a factor in why research shows men are more isolated than women up until old age, but it's not an isolated man's fault because it's harder for him to attract new friends when he wants to. Remember: what men in general think like is not the same as what isolated or lonely men in particular think like.

Conclusion

Feminists should quit blaming lonely men for their loneliness or isolation and accusing them of blaming women. Research has shown that misogynistic men tend to be promiscuous, not virgins, and involuntarily sexless men are less misogynistic, not more. Also, antisocial (not to be confused with asocial) behaviors were positively correlated with more male friends for men, and misogynistic men have more antisocial traits (i.e.: sociopathic traits). Many isolated, lonely men do want friends and are not the same as men who don't, and they often have been bullied, ostracized or rejected by peers growing up and struggled to socially integrate, which severely increases the risk of adulthood virginity. While they were socially withdrawn growing up, it could be it's either due to severe shyness/social anxiety (which is unchosen) or because of their negative social experiences. It's not their fault.

And few, if any, of these men say it's women in general in particular's responsibility to fix them. This is a myth made up by feminists to have an excuse to demonize these men. They put words into men's mouths just to demonize them so they can ridicule or shame men who fail to conform to traditional masculine stereotypes. Society doesn't like men who open up or who struggle with dating, and feminists hate these kinds of men and will make up lies about them to excuse ridiculing them, even though misogynistic men often were found to be promiscuous, beer-drinking jocks or frat boys rather than lonely virgins without friends. Male loneliness/isolated is not a man's fault or a result of his own actions, but a result of unfair circumstances. It's nobody's fault. If feminists think women are owed support by society, then so are men owed support. Feminists just think men need to tough out their issues independently because they are men, and believe women should be protected. They don't admit to this mindset, but they imply it.