My relationship is ending today.
I'm sitting the airport having had the most painful parting of ways after nearly 2 years. I never thought this day would come but after 3 months of living together and spending Christmas together with her family, we decided to go our separate ways. For now at least, hopefully not forever.
The things people don't tell you about long distance is just how truly hard it can be at times. Moving halfway around the world to be together is one of the biggest dice rolls you can make, taking all that love in from another person is a deep responsibility.
Sometimes loving someone from a distance is actually easier than together. Sometimes the right thing to do doesn't feel like it, sometimes the short term pain is worth it in the long run.
A relationship is toughest when both people are dealing with different traumas and pain. You have to look after yourself, for yourself, first before you can truly give and receive love in return. If you don't love yourself, how can you expect to love another?
My partner is the most beautiful soul I've ever met, I feel like we spent most of lives moving towards each other without realising it, and once we met it felt like we were made to grow together. We chose each other, and even though it doesn't feel like it, we are choosing each other still by removing the pressure of forcing a situation to work when we're not happy.
The funny thing is life is a bit easier together when we're in her country. She needs her family, friends and support system more than I need mine. I can handle and be okay in solitude, whereas she isn't. Unfortunately if it were that easy to move I'd have done so but long winded visas and legal issues make that a complicated situation.
The reality is that sometimes love just isn't enough, and now I sit about to begin a 15 hour journey to a place that won't feel like home without her.
It isn't a goodbye, it's just a see you later.