Why am I like this?

16th lesson today, so I'm 32 hours in. Was going ok-ish, then towards the end of the lesson I messed up with speed (for the millionth time - I keep going far too slowly), and when I'd parked up I cried and couldn't stop for a bit. I couldn't get my head straight, so I ended up switching seats with my instructor, and he drove me home - he's not needed to do that since the very beginning of my learning.

I'm just crap at it. I have to double check with instructor that I actually have gone left/right as he has instructed, I can't read gaps when emerging or figure out appropriate speeds, he asks questions and even if I know the answer the wrong words come out or I have to gesticulate to answer because I cannot find the words at all.

I'm an idiot. It's not clicking. I'm stupid and clumsy, and I wish my ridiculously wired up brain would sort itself out, but I was born with this tangle of dyspraxic nonsense, so I'm stuck. I'm so angry with myself. It's so bloody embarrassing. I am an embarrassment.

I want the freedom of driving, but I'm a fool.