A woman has her 100 birthday.

As usual, local newspaper sends a guy to interview her. What is your secret? How do you stay healthy?

Well, nothing special. If I get up with a stomach bug, I drink a glass of beer. High blood pressure? A glass of whiskey. Low blood pressure? A glass of red wine. No appetite? A glass of white wine. Cold, Flu? A shot of vodka.

The shocked correspondent understands whom is he talking to, so he decided to ask just one more question. So when do you drink water?

Water? Let's see... No, I've never been that sick!