Tips for helldads - megathread

My little goblin is three years old, next month.

He's the light of my life. He actually had a horrific accident 4 months ago but he's pulled through like a champ and is doing far better than his mama n daddu.

I genuinely think that it's good to share the biggest learns for helldad bootcamp because there are some that spring to mind.

Id love it if you could share yours too. Especially for the next stages with 3 onwards!

1. Use formula for night feeds and get hellbaby used to receiving rations from dad.

So many of my mates have their goblin stuck to mums boob and the helldad not only doesn't get that cool bonding time, but worse can't comfort hellbebe when they are upset.

Using formula a bit takes pressure off mum and keeps her stocked up on ammunition, and keeps hellbebe well fed. It's usually nutritionally complete (which mums milk might not be unless her diet is perfect) except for the bio stuff, so a combo of both is always, always best.

If you gotta use "formula only" for any reason, preference or health, know that it is still a fantastic route that people didn't have 50 years ago. My boy was formula only (not by choice from us) and 2 months premmie, but caught up to full term weight within months with no health issues. His immune system seems fine. "Fed" is best, helldivers!

2. Screentime creates dissident behaviour or makes it worse.

Real talk, if you put my boy in front of a screen for 30min he becomes very undemocratic. But if you keep him away for a whole day he starts tricky but finishes gorgeous. It's like crack for bad behaviour. Keep the phone or pad AWAY. Nothing at all is better than giving them a pad.

3. Hellmum has a crazy tough job during mat leave and has not at all "got a year off".

She'll resent that thought because shes on duty pretty much 24hr a day. And it's rough. Respect her day like it's a full+ working day and don't arrive home expecting to be allowed to rest til baby is asleep.

If you need convincing - take 3x days off work on unpaid parental leave and do 100% of the childcare. If you finish it feeling like you'd not be happy to return to the frontlines I salute you.

Respect the momma! I used to rock up home after work annoyed if I was expected to do things, but wow, I was hard in the wrong.

4. Only make threats you can follow through with

The helltoddler is smarter than you think. The moment they twig you won't come good on some of your threats, they'll mob you.

Don't tell them "if you do that again we'll go home" 1min after arriving at the park unless you heckin mean it.

5. If it's your first baby, expect to go a bit funny at some point

It's a normal thing for dads to go a bit funny after a few months into the job. Don't guilt yourself and see it as a rite of passage. Try to talk about it and dont belittle it in your own mind. Your dad and grandad went through it too, but those fuckers also lived in a time when they could go to the golf course and the pub, daily.

Hang tough boys and remember that you are good enough, and that they love you and need you.

Most importantly remember that no job is too hard when raising the next line of defence for super-earth! There is no "I" in Super Earth after all.