i don't understand what it feels like

i don't understand what it feels like for someone to look at you and think you're pretty. or them wanting to be next to you, see you, make you smile, want to know about your day and know everything about you. i can't imagine someone wanting to hold my hand or wanting to wake up next to me in the morning. i feel insignificant, invisible, like i could disappear and nobody would care. i've watched and read a lot of romance in my life but even now, i don't understand. it feels so abstract to me. and i don't really think it will ever happen for me, it feels like something reserved for people who aren't like me.