When is it my turn

When is it my turn to get into a long-term relationship? I just wanna find someone I'm attracted to and who's attracted to my ugly ass. Whenever I liked someone which rarely happens, I'm always so hung up on him while he doesn't feel the same way 😭 I'm always the one in love and it never gets reciprocated and then still years later, I still couldn't move on jesus chirst it's so hard, I wish I could just get a lobotomy. Why am I so pathetic.