I feel like people hate raising kids???

Every time I think I’ve made up my mind to take the leap, I read something where I’m like “Wait—why do people do this?”

It’s everywhere I look. A mom of three under three complaining that she has no time to herself on IG stories. A dad grumpy with his kids in the grocery store. Even on unrelated threads on Reddit, where someone will mention being in the throes of parenthood and say it’s not for the faint of heart with a tone of what (to me) reads almost as regret.

What I do get is that being a parent is a complicated kind of love. If I can love my dog like mad after being afraid of them for two decades, I can only imagine the surge of love for a human. But the rhetoric around parenthood is so draining—especially for people who complain about kids they actively planned for in rapid succession. (I could write an entire thesis about my observations with people cranking out kids back to back to get “the rough years done with” and how their misery is largely self-inflicted, but that’s a story for another day.)

Is anyone else conflicted by this?

I know parenthood is hard but rewarding. I can comprehend that even the most fulfilling elements of our lives don’t feel good all the time. But I get so confused by whether or not people seem to hate parenting (especially early parenting) and it’s this open secret like IYKYK, or if there are just way too many people complaining online who could have been well served by larger birth spacing and/or being one and done.