I failed as an entrepreneur. Being an entrepreneur ruined my life.

My whole life its been my dream to start and own a successful business. It wasn’t because I didn’t want to work a 9-5 or because of any external factor. I just fell in love with the being a business owner. It didn’t matter how hard it was, i noticed i always did the work necessary as a business owner nonetheless. For the most part it was harder than a traditional 9-5 but i still did. This how i knew it was something i wanted to do and be.

It all started when i first moved to the United States as a young teenage boy from a third world African country. Coming to America inspired me. Seeing the opportunities, I decided to strive for the “American Dream”. Man only if i knew how much of a lie most of the info I’ll come across on this journey was.

At first my version of the American dream was work hard, go to school, become a doctor and get a good job earning 6 figures. This what my father has instructed me to do to be successful in this country. So I listened. I listened so well, I worked very hard at school graduated with a 4.0 and got into a very good college. This where everything started changing.

My whole plan was shattered when i realized what it means to be a doctor. The difficulty to become one was never an issue as i was the time to do whatever it takes but i came to a realization when someone told me “ you know, being a doctor is not the only way to be successful” this here completely shattered my pre mental program that my father had instilled me and got me thinking. What is there out there…..

The fostered me to try new things and get into other things that will thus ensure my success and my dream of becoming a millionaire. To my greatest surprise, i found most people who were where i wanted to be were business owners. This took me down a rabbit whole of research into what they did etc

Realizing i didn’t have to become a doctor to be successful, gave me a breath of fresh air as i was no longer restricted to doing something I didn’t like.

So sometime during my 2nd semester of freshman year i decided to do research into how people made it and became successful. Thats when is stumbled upon online business aka ecommerce aka drop shipping, ebay etc. I opened my first ebay account eneded yo seling a few items I owned but i had no clear vision with it, so i did dropshipping. Which this i had to learn alot of things like web design etc. built my first store… pfffft I thought once is in the internet sales will start flooding in. Nope. Store was live and the only store visitors i had were bots. Only for me to realize i had to market.

I had limited capital at that time so i decided ill come back to it once I’ve learned what its needed and when i have some more capital on my hand.

Back to research. Some people online were preaching about having clients and selling services to people as a marketer, so after learning some social media marketing from a $3000 course online i decided to cold call and email business owners to run and generate leads and sale for them. Pffft tried that for months, that didn’t work out I didn’t essentially like the business model anyways.

The only business model that really resonated with me was ecommerce.

My second year of college, I decided to use my college refund checks to start a clothing business. Which became my first real business ever. I told my family told my firienfs. To my surprise it wasn’t easy as expected but for some reason i still felt so passionate and inspired regardless of the drawbacks unlike what i ever felt working hard to become a doctor.

In my first 2 weeks of starting the business with $700 i sold out on all my inventory giving me a return of $2000. Boy i was so stocked, I started dreaming of the lambo i was going to buy when i sold more. I mean all i have to do is sell more right?! Nope it wasn’t like that. The people online make it sound so simple but it really isn’t.

I decided to expand my business and market online but unfortunately, that didn’t pan out after so much spend on online marketing to strangers. I realized that most of my customers i previously had where friends, family and colleagues i knew and it wasn’t really a hit in the real world.

Luckily i was able to meet an entrepreneur in my area who had a clothing business doing about $1mill a year at that time. Now he does about $10M annually. This became my first ever real mentor but our conversation was limited although just the connection gave me hope especially seeing someone my color doing it.

I went a period not doing my clothing business as it wasn’t moving as expected. I decided to venture into other entrepreneurial opportunities. Thats when my friend introduced me to a lady who had approached him professionally promising a lucrative opportunity as a “network marketer” willing to become our mentor etc. i had to pay $600 to join this group and go for weekly meeting. Sounds like a cult don’t it. But nah overtime i and my friend realized we’ve been hooked into a ponzi scheme. At the time i had no idea and my friend introducing me to it was just me becoming one of his under link that he will make money from when i sell products and recruit people under me. All this he had explained to me ofcos.

That i ended up leaving realizing how damaging it could be to my reputation. Now yet another failed venture. I decided to push forward.

I was marketed a course that will teach me a skill that will generate me $1000- $10,000 plus a month and all i have to do is pay $3000. Well obviously that was a scam as well as i made not a dime from being i this paid community. At that time getting rich of selling courses was just becoming a thing but so people fell for it.

I took my loses and move on. Of course while doing all of these i was still in school trying to become a “doctor”.

I read countless books on self development, business as i was told the lesson in books help one to be successful. 4 years down the road and nothing to show for it. “God what am I doing” is this the right path?! Nothing but failed ventures and scams.

The bias in this is the people online are the 1% that made it but there are the 99% tried and failed. I was so optimistic i though i could be this 1% not understand how small of a ratio that is.

Along the coming years i tried various other things. Stock trading, crypto, social media etc. Made a few bucks from these but nothing significant to call a business or to build off from.

Work hard they said, work smart that said, all that i did and nothing. I was engrossed with sad ness and negative self perception , doubt and pity. I mean “i did all they said you should do” “why am i not yet successful?!“ i read the books went for the seminars to initiative and action, was patient and consistent, invested in education…

I graduated with a degree in psychology premed. Realising the loans and requirements it will come with to become a doctor after establishing that’s not who i wanted to be, i decide to-end it there.

My dad had instructed i go back to school to purse a masters program but i was not motivated in the slightest. My live for having a business was still there. I ended up getting a part time job with the help of a friend based of my degree. Wasn’t earning much but it was something.

After a few months i got the energy to start another venture, so i made a deal with my dad. “Give me a year in this venture” “ if i earn up to $100,000, i don’t get to go back to school and if i don’t i’ll do whatever you want me to do” .

So i stared on this new venture. It was another online clothing brand but this time i decided to do things different. I sent a message to my mentor at this time he is generating about $2m in sales his was advised at the time was to go back to the drawing board if something isn’t working. We met and talked for an hour or 2.

In summary after a year on my clothing store, I generated about $100,000 in sales ironically. Although this was just revenue. Profit was around 20% which was great at that time but i ended up blowing this money and going in depth trying to just reinvest.

Its been 6 years since you’ve been on this journey and you have nothing to show for it. Boy did negative self talk eat me alive. I wallowed in depression and had thoughts of suc*ded at this time i was dead broke, with nothing to my name. I prayed, i wished, i cried but nothing. As of now I’ve decided to give up on my dream of becoming a successful entrepreneur as most of the people on social media are just putting up a fasade anyways to market themselves and i will be going back to school to purse a degree in health care for the sake of earning a decent income etc

Its though to give up but after all these years I’m tired. Maybe its not meant for me. My love for entrepreneurship will forever still be there nonetheless.

I decide write this because the internet is bias in its authenticity, as people only show their good side and good things happens in their life and the ones who succeed are the one who advertise them selves. So it fives a false expectation and perception.