Always feeling alone on my birthday

Today is my birthday. Every year I am always crying on my birthday, and end up feeling very alone and overwhelmed with a lot of different emotions that I can’t explain. I’ve never felt panicked by my birthday before but with me being 25 this year and still trying to figure things out in every aspect of my life and stuck in a rough spot financially / living wise, I feel behind and worried for my future. I let go of a lot of bad friends each year and particularly this year i let go of some friends that I thought would be in my life possibly forever.

I feel like no one really cares about me and that my family just pity me because I don’t have close enough friends that would be willing to take me out / treat me on my birthday. I find the holidays a hard time as well so it feels weird for me that my birthday is lodged in between the two biggest holidays… is it normal to feel so sad on your own birthday? I’ve always imagined my birthday to be a really big celebrated day, but I sadly don’t have the right people around me able to do that with and I never really feel loved or appreciated by friends in particular