Actually turned on by me or lying?

First of all I haven't had sex in over 5 years due to body image issues. For a while I traded nudes with some guys online to see if anyone could find me attractive and some seemed to like how I looked but keep in mind it was pictures and videos.

I quickly realized these guys looked at of course tons of other women and when I realized they might didn't actually like me they just liked the attention I gave, I stopped doing it.

After this I just felt awful. I have never liked my body and I feel like the few guys I have been in a relationship with didn't see me as I was. They would compliment me but to me it seemed like lies. I have a horrible body. And I can't for the life of me understand that someone likes it and I dread dating and finding a boyfriend because of this. I just KNOW he will be so so disappointed seeing me naked. I don't have an amazing personality either I'm just a normal woman.

I wish body didn't matter and that my body could be attractive for someone. I hate that I'm a woman. I have seen how much looks and body matters, how it's the biggest flex to look good naked. Good cooking and loyality can't make up for this shit and I hate it. Hearing how other guys admire a buddy of them for having a good looking girlfriend etc...

I don't know what to do. I'm extremely sad because of this. I'm 30 years old to....