Venting

Had my 6 week follow up with my CRS yesterday after fissurectomy and Botox. I’m literally so sick of this. She is very cut and dry and insisted the Botox lasts 3 months and that’s that! I told her at my 2 weeks follow up that I could feel the Botox on the right side on my butt but not the left and it’s still the same. She said there’s absolutely nothing she will do for me so find a way to keep my stools soft consistently, which has been so difficult over the last 6 weeks, and to keep using nef, lidocaine and relaxers and advil. She offered for me to see the senior doctor in the practice since he’s been doing this for 35 years which I’m really happy about. But how is this ever going to heal? My fissure is under my tailbone by the top of my spinchter. It hurts to walk, lay down and forget sitting. I’ve been out of work over 2 months 😣. No pay. I’m drinking all the water (100-140 ounces daily). I’m so sick of only being comfortable on one side lying down. This isn’t living. I was so active and going non stop to this. I switched to mirilax at night yesterday and benefiber in the morning now. I go to the bathroom 2-5 times a day. Never seem to be finished. But for some reason my stools were still hard and lumpy. I gave up gluten and dairy as well and all coffee too. Increased my fruit and vegetables as well. I sit in the tub (feels like that’s all I do) after every movement. I need some hope …. Walking and everything causing pain is crazy. I don’t understand why she won’t do the Botox again till the 3 months are up. 🤷‍♀️. I feel like people metabolize things differently. Do these ever get better? Has anyone managed to be able sit normal again? Walk normal? Get their lives back without all this pain? Ty