At my wits end

I’ve had a fissure for 9 months now. Got no where with GTN cream so switched to Diltiazem and had a 50%ish pain reduction. But then it started causing major irritation around the area so I’m back to the GTN now and for the first time in ages I can feel the muscle spasiming and just feels like I’ve taken 2 steps forward and 3 back.

Had a letter through the post saying they’ll be in touch to schedule a hospital appointment for examination under general anaesthetic- I’m guessing that means Botox? No idea how long that will take though.

Every morning I’m terrified of having to go to the toilet. Sat on my bed and cried today feeling like I’ve now regressed. I am so tired 😢😢