Anal fissure fistula complex

Well it's been a year since I first had symptoms starting with a perianal abcess, it was drained in May last year and 4 months of it going away and coming back and opening and draining. It closed and came back super painful, but i was having other symptoms like pressure/feeling like ivwas pushing to poop when I wasn't, extremely painful bowel movements. My General surgeon said he thinks I had a fistula, he put in a refferall to a different surgeon who is supposed to specialize in colorectal surgery, but this is Hawaii and im on VA so everything takes forever plus it was the holidays, so he went in, in an attempt to make me feel better and put the setons in(before my MRI) and i was in EXTREME pain for over a month I kept going back to the er, because he was on vacation.. i knew something was wrong he stated I shouldn't be in this much pain, and didn't know why I was. He thought maybe I had a fissure to. The ER said CT scan shows everything is where it should be. Sent me home. Two weeks later i finally got in to see my new CRS and she couldn't do a full exam because I was in to much pain so we booked a EUA and botox because my sphincter was so tight. During the EUA she found that the prior surgeon put my seton in the middle of my fissure...that was what was causing me so much pain. She "fixed" his mistake and ruled out chrons and IBS...She now wants to do advance flap procedure in a few weeks, but wants me to try to get off pain meds because this procedure apparently is extremely painful. It's been one week since my EUA and I'm still in a considerable amount of pain, some days worse then others. Today is a high pain day. And I just can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. She also said something about removing a part of my perianal area and needing someone to change the gauze etc... she told me this after my EUA so l was still a bit out of it and didn't fully understand why this would happen. The pain has taken such a mental toll on me, I'm starting to think suicidal thoughts, losing hope. I try my best to do positive affirmations, praying, thinking positive but when nothing helps it feels helpless. Has anyone had the advance flap procedure with good results? She told me there's always a chance of incontinence... or more complications. I'm pretty desperate to try anything but I also don't want to do something that may just make it worse. I have a checkup on the 5th and then they will schedule for procedure...but I'm not sure i can wait that long if I. Already in so much pain. She wants to wait to see if the botox will help the fissure heal. Which I understand but what if I'm just waiting and the pain doesn't get better. She said some people get immediate results while others it could take 3-4 weeks. How do you get through the day? Has anything helped distract your mind? Just looking for advice, support and kind words. Thanks for taking the time to read.