AITK for loving my boyfriend?

From my(21F) childhood my parents always wanted me to marry my cousin (32M). He lives with us as he lost his parents very young. I loved him like family but i don't remember if i loved him like a partner but, i definitely had a crush on him. . A year & half back i fell in love with my best friend (21M) who i have already know for 2 yrs. A year back i told my parents that i don't wanna marry my cousin but my bf. They threatened me with suicide and asked me to break up with my boyfriend.

I am from Telangana. Here, cousin marriages are very common.

Yesterday i told my cousin about my boyfriend on call ( i live in hostel rn). Today morning my mother called me and told me convince my cousin and agree to marry him otherwise she'll commit suicide. When i came to my cousin to do what my mom said ( cuz i have no options). My cousin told me he's in love with me from the past 10 yrs and he is waiting to marry me. I came to know my cousin loves me an yr ago or something.

My parents loves my cousin more than me. He also provides financial support to my parents when needed.

My cousin also told me that i cheated on him by loving my boyfriend meanwhile he waited for me all these with utmost sincerity and loyalty without looking at other girls.

AITK for loving my boyfriend when ny family wanted me to marry my cousin and as my cousin waited all these years for me? And may be loving him when i was 18. ( i don't remember whether i loved him as a partner or not.)

AITK even if i loved him back then and fell for my boyfriend?