My current wife made me choose between her and my son from the previous marriage. AITAH for not agreeing to her terms?

Context: I(41M) have divorced my ex wife almost 3 years ago. The was constant arguing, and conflict whenever she got upset over anything, 90% of the times, not generated by me or my actions, therefore out of my control, but I was kinda used to it, after 12 years together it was normal to me. It all ended, for me, one evening when she came home from her parents' house, where she went to take our son, who was 7 at the time, home( they help us by taking him from school, and taking care of him, until we could come get him, after work), all nervous because she had an argument whith another driver, and because our son kept asking questions, and wanted attention(normal 7yo stuff, if you ask me) , from the backseat. I asked her to calm down because, I knew where that was going, but she said it's not going to escalate. 1 hour later the kid was crying under his desk because of the fight we were having, went to the bedroom, where she was, to tell her to stop, and came back to console our son. 1 minute later she came to our sons room, and while pointing at him, she said that this is all his fault. That night something broke inside of me, and decided to divorce. I my mind, it didn't matter who's fault it was, but it was obvious it wasn't healthy for us or the child, thought it was better separated. Got separated and divorced through a notary, without the need to go to a judge. I love my son very much(she knows this, it's going to be important later in the story), therefore I asked to have him stay with me every other week, and to pay her alimony in the amount of the minimum wage in our country(arround 500$ worth) , to which she agreed. Went on to have an active dating life, and social life, in the time my son was with her, and focusing my full attention to him when he was with me.

This went on for almost a year,to 2 years ago when I met my current wife(27f then), we had a beautiful chemistry, everyone used to be amazed at how well we got along, the fact that we never took each other seriously, and always find reasons to smile, and be happy. From the very first date, I've been honest with her, and explained my situation. She understood and accepted it. As our relationship evolved, she said that she wanted a child, even though I have told her many times I didn't expressly want a child, but I wouldn't force her to get an abortion, if it would happen for her to get pregnant. Time went on and 10 months into our relationship, she got pregnant, she came home all mad thinking that I wouldn't want the baby. Calmed her down and told her that whatever she chooses, I am OK with her choice, and she decided to keep the baby, one year later to today, that was one of the best decisions ever, we were blessed with a beautiful, healthy baby boy, the sweetest, most relaxed and happy child I have ever seen.

But 3 months into her pregnancy she started to change, she started accusing me of loving my eldest more, and that when the young one will be born I wouldn't love him nearly as much. Mind you, I love my boys very much, and I love her very much, all equally, in my head, at least. I am the kind of husband cooks, helps with cleaning the house, washing the clothes, changing, feeding and sleeping with the baby( a lot of xp came with the first child, when my ex wife had a bad episode of heavy post partum depression,that lasted for more than 3 years, thus having to take matters into my own hands, and help as much as I could with the baby.). But even now that does not seem to be enough. After she gave birth, the fights got worse, and worse, nothing was enough, she started to behave badly towards my eldest son, trying to force me not to invite him to our wedding and the baptism of his brother (he loves him very much and would do anything just to make the baby happy, he is very caring with his baby brother), I didn't agree with that request, because I wanted him present, and thinking that would make him feel left out.

1 week after the wedding she started a big fight stating that I didn't care about her and the baby at the wedding, and I only cared about the eldest, which was completely not true. She started throwing water glasses at me, and when I tried to defend myself, while she attacked me with a glass, she swung a chair at me hitting me pretty badly on the hip and causing a bruise and a scar even now, after 5 months. She screamed alot even with the baby in her arms, I had the intuition to get my phone and film most of it, because I thought no one would believe me if something happened. There have been 4 or 5 more outbreaks since then, but less and less intense. I am always trying to keep calm, but don't always succeed, she has a way of persisting.

I work as a civil engineer with on site supervision and management, this means I am away, on job sites in different cities, from Monday morning to Friday evening, but always try to be home on weekends. I was lucky enough to have understanding bosses, and I worked from the office in my city, from the last to moths of my wives pregnancy to last week. Monday I had to resume my onsite job. My eldest son's time with us changed, as per my current wife's request, from every other week, to 0 days in the last month of pregnancy and first moth of the baby, for obvious reasons, I accepted it, and he was understanding(got to see him for a few hours every two weeks, but outside, at the park to play some football, and interact), to Thursday - Sunday, every other week. But that was when I worked from the office, now that I am away, I cannot keep that schedule, and want to take him to stay with us every weekend, I couldn't imagine not seeing him for 2 weeks. But I got hit with my wife's need for just me, without my son(mind you he is a litle active, but would also stay most of the time in his room playing Roblox with his friends). She says that she made to many compromises for me, and that I am not willing to accept her requests even though I wanted to take him on Saturday afternoon, and she insisted on me taking him on Sunday, to which I agreed, but still wasn't enough for her and she said she doesn't want him present at all, and if I want to spend time with him, to get him to where I am now which is 5 hours by train, and he has to change trains to get here. If not, I shouldn't come home, and to choose between her and him. Sorry for the long rant!

AITAH to want to spend time with both my sons and my family?

Edit 1 : tried paragraphing but English isn't my first language, and neither literature. Sorry if I made it hard to read or understand.

Edit 2 : Someone here said that you're not getting the whole story.

I have shared this post with her, and invited her to say her side of the story. We all tend to be subjective, therefore I stand by what I wrote, and stand corrected, if that is the case. She said she doesn't have the time for this, nor the will. She proceeded to message me about all the things I did wrong, only to delete all her messages afterward.